26.10.2007 | 15:41
Geir og kennslustofan.
Svo að hann hafi nú eitthvað að gera, eftir að hann var fyrstur búinn að svara spurningarblaði kennarans, ákvað kennarinn að spyrja hann aukaspurningar.
"Geir minn, þú ert nú svo klár, að ég ætla að spyrja þig einnar
aukaspurninar. Það eru 5 fuglar á grein, þú ert með byssu og skýtur einn fuglinn, hvað eru þá margir fuglar eftir?"
"Enginn", svarar Geir.
"Hvað meinar þú... enginn?", spyr kennslukonan?
"Já, einn drepst, dettur til jarðar og hinir fljúga í burtu" segir Geir
Kennslukonan kinkar kolli og segir "svarið átti nú að vera 4, en mér líkar hvernig þú hugsar"
Örstuttu seinna réttir Geir litli upp hendi.
"Já Geir"
"Má ég spyrja þig einnar spurningar?"
"Endilega" segir kennslukonan.
"Ókei, 3 konur standa við ísbíl, og allar eru búnar að kaupa sér ís, ein af þeim sleikir ísinn, ein af þeim bítur í ísinn og ein af þeim sýgur ísinn. Hver þeirra er gift?" Spyr Geir
Kennslukonan roðnar og segir, "Eee....ég veit ekki alveg, ætli það sé ekki sú sem sýgur ísinn?....eða eitthvað"
"Neeiiii" segir Geir litli, "það er sú sem er með giftingarhringinn, en mér líkar hvernig þú hugsar"
25.10.2007 | 08:49
Vinur þinn.
Það er ekki auðvelt að finna vin sem er 95% hæfileikaríkur 96% skemmtilegur 97% sexý 98% ástúðlegur 99% gáfaður 100% fallegur þannig að ............. þú veist hvernig þú getur náð í mig Sjáumst | |||
|
25.10.2007 | 08:48
50 árum seinna
19.10.2007 | 13:14
Athyglisvert...
@ PRISON | @ WORK |
you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell | you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle |
you get three meals a day fully paid for | you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it |
you get time off for good behavior | you get more work for good behavior |
the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you | you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself |
you can watch TV and play games | you could get fired for watching TV and playing games |
you get your own toilet | you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat |
they allow your family and friends to visit | you aren't even supposed to speak to your family |
all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required | you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners, and welfare |
you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out | you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars |
you must deal with sadistic wardens | they are called managers |
THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!! |
19.10.2007 | 12:35
Læknirinn...
19.10.2007 | 12:28
Blómin og býflugurnar.
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid,
I'll have nothing left to live for."
19.10.2007 | 12:24
Brandari.
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no..... male or female?
- Male, female sometimes camel
16.10.2007 | 17:18
Ljóskurnar eru samar við sig.
There were 3 girls in high school, they were all best friends and they're moms were all best friends as well, one mom was blonde, one mom was brunette, and the other had black hair.
So one night, the moms are all sitting around talking, and the Brunette says, ''I found a cigarette butt in my daughters trash can, I can't believe she smokes.''
The mom with Black Hair looks over and says, ''Well, I found a beer bottle in my daughters trashcan I can't believe she drinks.''
Then the blonde thinks for a moment and says, ''I found a condom in my daughters bed, I can't believe she has a dick.''
16.10.2007 | 17:17
Blessuð börnin....
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School, usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret,
"Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. "Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back
asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The nun fainted...........
9.10.2007 | 13:24
Ert þú einn af 55?
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in th e rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt ! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.